This month’s blog has me sharing a bit of myself with you.

Introspection and reflection of mine. You probably figured it out.  I like to make jewelry and paint watercolor galaxies. Plants and animals bring me joy.  Organized chaos instills calm within me.   I am an introvert who has been living the quarantine life her whole existence without even realizing it.

If you meet me, I will probably be smiling no matter what is going on internally.  Growing up third-generation Japanese, our house was generally quiet.  Japanese do not show affection or emotion like other cultures.  They are not big on hugs or expressing how they feel.

My shyness began early in my childhood.

I am the youngest of four girls.  And though my father is well into his eighties, he is still a workaholic.  Throughout our lives, he has been an entrepreneur, owning several businesses.  He has made and lost millions.  Mom was a stay-at-home mom who did not drive.  They were both born in Hawaii.

My father’s businesses ranged from owning a billiard hall to being one of the largest manufacturers of novelty posters and gift items.  He looked at his daughters as his little helpers (or perhaps free labor).  My earliest memories of working for my dad included sweeping, packing orders, selling at swap meets, and a ton of other arduous tasks. Weekends were spent working, all of us girls, and sometimes mom.  No Saturday morning cartoons… It was hell.  I used to wish he was a plumber.  Why can’t he be normal like other dads?  The only thing my father thought about was work.  I had friends, but the closest who understood my pain was my sisters.   They suffered alongside me as well.

My alone time was spent drawing and painting.  Art gave me a place to escape and get lost in my imagination.  I would daydream a lot.  An average student with average grades, with the exception of my art classes.  In art, I excelled. Other classes were a place for me to daydream and not be at work.

Finally, well into my twenties, the shackles were lifted.  My father ended up selling his businesses.   We were all free to explore other careers.

I have had many jobs, but this one by far is my only career.

Deciding to quit my secure paycheck was scary, but so was not following my dreams.  Seven years ago, I quit my job to work on my art full-time.  That was the hardest thing I have ever done.  Who knew in order to have a business, and to succeed, required you to be aware of how you feel about yourself…. Oh, Lordy!

Funny…. up until the time I quit my job, I never gave much thought to the quality of my thoughts; how I feel about myself; the love I have for myself.  I still struggle with my self-image and past limiting beliefs.  Personal development books and listening to podcasts have helped me evolve and to stay strong.  How we feel about ourselves is paramount.  It is the core foundation that character is built on.

As an adult, I have turned to art as a place for me to discover more about myself and to process my feelings or in other words introspection and reflection of mine.  When I create something, a sense of accomplishment and pride overwhelms me.  Art gives me value and purpose.

I am a believer; we have all been placed on this planet with rare talents, gifts, and that special thing that we do.

It is up to you to follow the breadcrumbs to attain it.  Therefore, it is up to you to figure out what it is.  We then have to take our gift, work hard at it, and share it with the rest of the world.

I look back at my childhood; my father was not a working monster (well, maybe). He did what he had to do in order to provide quality of life for his family.… and yes, it was hell.  But I admit, I learned how to be resourceful and introspection and reflection. I am not afraid of hard work.  You will reap the rewards as long as you are doing what makes your heart dance!